A Shimmer Before Darkness.

         The stars shown brightly that night. Their radiance almost out-sparkled my blue, sequenced, short cardigan, but not quite. My outfit literally shimmered every time I made a movement. That cardigan made my mood instantaneously shift to match it whenever I layered it onto my body. I rarely wore it though; it was only meant for special occasions, and tonight was one of those occasions.

         This first year of high school was going to be my new beginning. I was going to rid myself of my shyness and get what I wanted. And at that moment, I wanted the very guy that haunted my every dream since the day he moved to Arlington when I was in sixth grade. His luscious lips were exact replicas of Angelina Jolie's; they begged me to stare at them and imagine what they held behind their shut doors. Once those doors opened though, the world would get a little piece of heaven. 

         He would walk the halls with a strut that made every girl steal a glance and blush back to what they were previously doing. With his sunshine head of hair dancing as his crystal eyes looked strait ahead, my ever-hungry imagination would envision this noble junior walking up to me and asking if I would like to do more than just admire from afar. These visions of mine never seemed to come true though. The closest I would ever get to uttering a single syllable to him would usually sing to the tune of "excuse me" or "hi" if I was lucky. 

         As my unconventional cardigan glimmered and winked at the dance lights, my thoughts were completely skipping past the stupid "hi" scenario and driving full speed towards virginal ecstasy. My newly found teenage spirit was tearing apart my old gawky middle school years. As the shredding of my inner self was occurring, my outer self started molding into the music. My hips jerked neurotically as my sexual predator within dove deeper into my core; latching its claws into my sole and taking over my judgment. "Meek Kayla" had fallen and my eyes dilated as my erotic persona came to life. 

         My animalistic heart beat faster as my prey joined the herd of grinding bodies. As if my feet were possessed, I sashayed over to my prize and without a single shake in my voice, asked him to dance. He smiled with those pearls derived straight from the gods and grabbed my hand. 

         We started out slow and distant but with each song he began to draw me in closer and my ego skyrocketed. It was then that I made up my mind and shushed my tiny little angel of morality. I reached for his ear and whispered two daring words that shimmered throughout my body into his. "Follow Me." 

         With him in tow, we raced through the backdoor and down the school hallways. My pounding feet mimicked my throbbing heart as we raced away from the crowd and away from ourselves. I rounded a corner and simultaneously pulled and pushed him up against the hard wall. Right when his astonished face transformed I knew there was no turning back. I succumbed to those taunting lips and gave my body permission to take over. I kissed him first; he kissed me back. I ran my hands through his golden locks; he ran his hands up and down my shoulder blades. This was my first kiss. 

         Little did I know, that first kiss would be the fire starter for a mass forest of hardship and a rite of passage that I had to go through to become who I am today. It was the ending of my innocence and the beginning of my journey to womanhood. To this day, I will always look back on that kiss with a mixture of sorrow and pride, but never regret. My mind had completely vanished; I had been in the moment. I had captured courage; I had worn my sparkling cardigan.