Starbucks, Spanish, and Stupidity

I know this isn’t supposed to be about me, but you have no idea… or maybe you do, (I’m going to assume you don’t)… You have no idea how loud it can be in a Starbucks coffee shop! The four workers with their green aprons and overly smiley faces exude their coffee driven energy throughout the whole café as they bustle from one order to the next. Three short women and one tall, dark man holler out the customer’s desired beverages as I take a seat on the far wall next to a policeman and a distinguished elderly man with a balding spot on the top of his forehead.

I open up my laptop and try to act conspicuous as the gentlemen converse… but like I said before, with the coffee shop literally buzzing with commotion and the two men barely bringing their vocal cords above a whisper, I found myself only registering the “ums” from the distinguished, balding man. THAT WAS IT.

Since my attempts to eaves drop on the two mysterious men was a failure, I decided to direct my attention to the broader scope of the whole shop. Someone was bound to be a loud talker. This was my first time actually wishing someone would be obnoxious in my coffee shop. Of course no one would oblige my wishes when I actually wanted it.

Then a short, Hispanic man in his mid forties sauntered into the café. This was when I finally started to take notice in the over friendly Starbucks employees. The Hispanic man plodded up to the counter when my wish was granted. At the other end of the table was a frizzy brunette with glasses and a stout stature, and of course a fake smile to go with her fake Spanish.

“¡HOLA!”

“Hola. Como estas?”

The frizzy headed woman knew the man probably spoke Spanish but judging by her somewhat dumbfounded expression, she probably didn’t expect to converse too much in his language.

“Um…Muy Bien gracias. Y tu?

I must have missed something in their conversation, because this was about the time the Spanish speaking man grew silent and chose his words slowly and precisely.

“Como estas?”

And this was about the time the frizz head multiplied her volume and practically shouted her repeated answer.

“MUY BIEN GRACIAS! Y TU?”

…

The worker and Mexican just stood across from each other, staring at the confusing expressions plastered on their faces. He then pointed at one of the pastries and handed her two dollars. She replied with a nod and handed him what he wanted. With a little bit of guts left in her frizzy mind, she attempted one last time to get through to him.

“Um… Que Significa ‘I’m Doing well thanks?’”

He didn’t even look at her. Instead he just shook his head in an appreciative way and went back to his plodding out the door. Frizz head’s co-workers looked at her in bewilderment. She just smiled apologetically and tried to play the whole incident off.

“I’m just practicing my Spanish… Mi Gato es mujero.”

The white overly plump blonde behind the counter then laughed and mockingly looked over her shoulder at the dark man.

“Como se dice “Dumbass” en espanol?”

“Tonto?…”

“What?”

“I think it’s tonto or something.”

All four of the workers stumbled for a second as they slowly put their masks back on for the public. The bustle quick started itself as if it’d never stopped and the machines hummed away while the steam was released.